July 29, 2026
I don't know what happens to the time. I can remember the days, but I look back and it's just gone in a blink. Everyone says this, as you get older things go by faster, but I don't think I was prepared for it. It feels like covid was some kind of liminal sleep and now that we're back, the clock is sped up as punishment.
The summer was hard. Family and cancer and death and sykemelding and a vacation spent in a place that considers me less than human. But I'm still here, and I'm *back* (in whatever capacity that means), and I'm trying. My brain still works. I solved a quite difficult problem our team was struggling with on my second day back. That felt good.
To keep my sanity I've been resting, and walking. (A lot.) Went into the forest, up a nearby ås, found some very tasty wild blueberries, took joy in being the only one I could see. It had been years since I'd been back to the US, and the main thing I'd forgotten was how busy it was. Just, people everywhere. Crowded, queues, lines, waiting - for others and for permission - to do things you need to do. I went and walked through the forest for 5 hours the other day and saw 1 person.
The berries are good, my community is better, and my returned agency is best. I think this year is the year of friendship. I am so grateful for the wonderful people in my life that support me and exist alongside me. I want to spend time focusing on, and growing that. And I want to exist in my body more, feel my breath and heart.
That's all. I'm mostly just writing to the void. I have some things in the works I'm really excited about, I'll write more about them soon. I'm trying to imagine my career in a post-AI world, and it's looking a bit bleak. So I'm vectoring and preparing and building, hopefully, a system that lets me live a life once my job is automated away.
Top picture- my local forest. Bottom - the forest berries :D
(P.S. - I've decided to leave in my mispellings and mistakes going forward. I'm not a machine, an LLM. I'm not perfect. And I really love that about myself.)
